Level 1 - Video/Action for New Bark Town

[questionmarksthespot]

Ha, hey, check it out dudes.

[The video feed is focused, a bit unsteadily, on a sign reading “New Bark Town: Winds of a New Beginning.” What’s so funny isn’t immediately obvious, even as a beefy forearm enters the frame to strategically cover part of the wording.]

“Newb Town.” Ha, oh man, I should be writin’ this down.

[The camera turns to reveal the one speaking, an overweight man in a suit and fez, eye-patch flipped up to reveal a perfectly functioning eye underneath.]

Okay but seriously dudes, I got no idea how I got here. It’s nice an’ all, but I kinda got responsibilities now, you know? Oh, and this thing’s been following me since that weird woman kicked me out of her house.

[The camera spins again to show a Slowpoke flopped down on the grass behind Soos, staring at nothing, eyes blinking just a bit out of synch with each other.]

I guess it’s some kinda mini gummy hippo thing? I figure it either thinks I’m its mom or something, or it wants to eat me.

[There’s a short, considering pause.]

Eh, I give it about a fifty-fifty chance. Those are good odds. And I think I could outrun this little dude if I had to.

Comments

[video]

[harlequinhater]

Oh man, Newb Town! That's hilarious. I can't believe that I didn't think of it first! Though I was not there for very long before I got teleported away, so I am going to use that as my excuse.

[John looks like he's considering something.]

There's also totally a fart joke in "Winds of a New Beginning," somewhere. I just haven't thought of it yet.

Re: [video]

[questionmarksthespot]

Aw man, you're right. I can't believe I missed that.

[He laughs, then looks thoughtful for a second.]

Uh... "Breaking Winds of a New Bean-ginning."

[video]

[harlequinhater]

That's perfect! We are like a perfect team in coming up with silly ways to change signs to say other things.

My name is John, by the way. Who are you?

Re: [video]

[questionmarksthespot]

Ha, awesome dawg.

[That, right there? Instant friendship material.]

[And raising his fez to John.]

Soos Ramirez, Mr. Mystery. Good to meetcha, dude.

[video]

[harlequinhater]

[John suddenly feels at a loss for his own hat to tip at Soos - his father would surely have been ashamed. Instead, he just kind of nods his head.]

Mr. Mystery, huh? Where do you get a cool title like that?

Re: [video]

[questionmarksthespot]

Only from the man himself, the original Mr. Mystery, Stan Pines.

[Looking extremely proud of himself.]

Dude's the greatest businessman and showman on Earth, man.

[video]

[harlequinhater]

Stan Pines, huh...

[John thinks on that name for a bit.]

Well, I've never heard of him, so I don't know if he can really be the greatest businessman and showman on Earth. But I'm sure he is still pretty cool! What kind of shows does he do?

Re: [video]

[questionmarksthespot]

Mr. Pines is great but underappreciated. That's probably why you haven't heard of him, dude.

[And in no way because he ran a tourist trap in backwater Oregon.]

He built this place called the Mystery Shack, see? He gives tours showcasing all the weird an' supernatural stuff he could find or make up, it's great.

[video]

[harlequinhater]

Oh damn, that sounds awesome! Supernatural stuff is so cool! At least when it's like cool ghosts and ugly monsters and stuff, not like dreamy sparkly vampires from romance novels. Those are lame.

[John would know. He was an ectobiologist once - that basically makes him an expert in all things supernatural.]

So what kind of supernatural stuff did he have? Did he catch any ghosts? Like... some kind of ghost buster?

Re: [video]

[questionmarksthespot]

Ghostbusting was more Dipper's thing. Nah, the Shack's got stuff like mermaid mummies, and the only known picture of a horse-riding horse, and the dancing pre-teen wolfboy.

Oh! And the mysterious rock that looks like a face, that one's a favorite.