Soos Ramirez (
questionmarksthespot) wrote2016-04-17 03:48 pm
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Level 1 - Video/Action for New Bark Town
Ha, hey, check it out dudes.
[The video feed is focused, a bit unsteadily, on a sign reading “New Bark Town: Winds of a New Beginning.” What’s so funny isn’t immediately obvious, even as a beefy forearm enters the frame to strategically cover part of the wording.]
“Newb Town.” Ha, oh man, I should be writin’ this down.
[The camera turns to reveal the one speaking, an overweight man in a suit and fez, eye-patch flipped up to reveal a perfectly functioning eye underneath.]
Okay but seriously dudes, I got no idea how I got here. It’s nice an’ all, but I kinda got responsibilities now, you know? Oh, and this thing’s been following me since that weird woman kicked me out of her house.
[The camera spins again to show a Slowpoke flopped down on the grass behind Soos, staring at nothing, eyes blinking just a bit out of synch with each other.]
I guess it’s some kinda mini gummy hippo thing? I figure it either thinks I’m its mom or something, or it wants to eat me.
[There’s a short, considering pause.]
Eh, I give it about a fifty-fifty chance. Those are good odds. And I think I could outrun this little dude if I had to.
[The video feed is focused, a bit unsteadily, on a sign reading “New Bark Town: Winds of a New Beginning.” What’s so funny isn’t immediately obvious, even as a beefy forearm enters the frame to strategically cover part of the wording.]
“Newb Town.” Ha, oh man, I should be writin’ this down.
[The camera turns to reveal the one speaking, an overweight man in a suit and fez, eye-patch flipped up to reveal a perfectly functioning eye underneath.]
Okay but seriously dudes, I got no idea how I got here. It’s nice an’ all, but I kinda got responsibilities now, you know? Oh, and this thing’s been following me since that weird woman kicked me out of her house.
[The camera spins again to show a Slowpoke flopped down on the grass behind Soos, staring at nothing, eyes blinking just a bit out of synch with each other.]
I guess it’s some kinda mini gummy hippo thing? I figure it either thinks I’m its mom or something, or it wants to eat me.
[There’s a short, considering pause.]
Eh, I give it about a fifty-fifty chance. Those are good odds. And I think I could outrun this little dude if I had to.
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But first this soot covered kid has to make sure that this isn't some vivid lack of oxygen induced dream he's having.]
Soos! Is that really you?!
[Please please please let him be real.]
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[And why are you talking like you haven't seen him in months. He missed you too, but it's been what, maybe a day? A day sounds about right.]
You guys get back to California okay? No giant robots attacked the bus this time or anything?
[He glances over his shoulder at the surroundings again.]
...Whoa, dude, am I in California? Seems chillier than I would've expected. ...and with way more ambient background music. ...And dude, you never told me you guys had wild mini-hippos, that's awesome!
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And your hippo looks... pretty peaceful, actually! Hopefully the chance of getting eaten is a lot lower than fifty percent though. I thought mine-- [she turns away for a second, calling her Pokemon over. it's a Totodile, who stares intently at the screen for all of two seconds before running off again to do his own thing] --was close to a hundred, but he hasn't. Yet.
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I'd put him way lower than a hundred, though. I've seen TONS of movies, and stuff that's kinda obviously sharp-toothy like that usually don't go after people unless they're way bigger. Or there's, like, a ton of really little guys all in a group.
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Monge...
[There's really only one thing to do at a time like this.]
You should try feeding it a snack, zura...
[N-No reason. It's not like it'd be super cute or anything.]
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[He's already rooting through his bag for something edible. This is like 'Befriending Strange Creatures 101', right?]
[Or he's about to lose a hand. Again, fifty-fifty odds.]
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[John looks like he's considering something.]
There's also totally a fart joke in "Winds of a New Beginning," somewhere. I just haven't thought of it yet.
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[He laughs, then looks thoughtful for a second.]
Uh... "Breaking Winds of a New Bean-ginning."
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I think we might be in the town at the same time. Although, I'm not sure if I've seen you around quite yet.
Your companion is so cute! Have you thought of a name for him? When I arrived, I got Jam.
[She nudges at the aipom on her shoulder who gives a little wave at the screen.]
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[He gives a little wave to Jam.]
An' I dunno yet! What do you think, little dude?
[Turning to look at the Slowpoke.]
[There's a long, long moment of inactivity; and then it yawns and rolls onto its back.]
Heh, guess that's a 'yes'. Little Dude it is!
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I'm sure there's some educated type who could use big fancy words ta describe it, but let's just say things will be just as ya left 'em when ya go back home. Or s'what I've heard, anyway.
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[And just... not questioning the rest of it.]
...So how DO ya get home from here?
[Laughing again.]
I still got no idea where here even is.
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Trust me, he doesn't want to eat you. I don't think Slowpoke even eat meat? So you're safe, I promise!
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[Glancing over his shoulder at the Pokémon again with a small laugh.]
Heh, pretty apt I guess. I like the little guy's style, if nothin' else.
[Turning back to the camera.]
Thanks, miss.
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But I'm figuring you've gotten the whole 'welcome to this whole new weird planet' speech already by now...
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I'm not sure you have to worry about it eating you, but it seems like you could give it a good bit of exercise if it did come after you.
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[Video] I LOVE YOUR SOOS ALREADY HOLY SHIT
[She's still chuckling when she clicks the feed on.]
Heheh, don't worry, that little guy won't try to eatcha.
You might wake up to him sucking on your clothes, though. Slowpokes are weird.
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[Pig-tasted, shyster approved.]
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[He laughs, mostly to himself again.]
Sorry dude, I'm just imagining like an entire town of people walking into walls and being like "What's the button to jump?!"
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He gives up pretty fast.]
What the hell are you?
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[That might be the most explanation you're likely to get, sorry Blake.]
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